Book Review - Captivating

In “Wild at Heart” John Eldredge describes why God made men the way He did. Mr. Eldredge argues that God designed a man with three basic longings: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. God did this so that through these longings every man would be driven somehow to fulfill God’s plan for His creation. After the book became wildly successful, it became evident that there was a need for some revelation on the better half of humanity. “Captivating” finally hit bookstores four years later.

It seems that women have some longings of their own, and, wouldn’t you know it, they are different than those of men! According to Stasi and John, a woman also has three basic longings: to unveil beauty, to be romanced, and to be part of a great adventure. The authors reveal that many issues women deal with stem from these three, simple desires.

Here are some of the things I have learned from this book:

To Unveil Beauty

Sadly, most women do not feel that they are beautiful, inside or outside. They feel they are too much and not enough at the same time. Deep inside them burns a question. “Am I lovely?” Too often they believe the lies of Satan and this world and they answer the question internally with a spirit-crushing “NO”.

If only they could see their beauty the way God does! When God made the world and He and Adam were hangin’ out there had to be a point where they looked around and then looked at each other and said, “something’s missing.” It wasn’t until a woman showed up on the scene that the beauty of God’s creation found completeness. Not just because women are physically beautiful, but because it is through their spirit and heart that we appreciate the very nature of beauty.

To Be Romanced

Naturally, each longing affects the other. When a woman does not see her beauty the way God does, she can search for other ways to validate her beauty, ways that God did not intend. The question, “Am I lovely?” should be posed to the Creator, but instead it is presented to the creation: men. And, let’s be honest, men have not always been a shining example of appreciation and selflessness.

Even though a woman’s longing to be romanced is God-given, it becomes influenced and often distorted by the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of the men in her life. It is not that a woman shouldn’t want to be romanced by a man, but that God, her true and eternal love, has already done it. It is from that place of ultimate self-worth that she can allow herself to be romanced by a man without insecurity or fear.

To Be Part of a Great Adventure

Most stories about adventure center around men: great battles, epic journeys, rights of passage, political struggles and the like. This socially accepted norm could easily make a woman feel resigned to an insignificant role in the course of human events. Nothing could be further from God’s intention.

When you take a closer look at the stories in history, there is a striking significance in the role of women. Not only have they used their God-given fierceness to influence the outcome of many events but they have inspired the beginnings as well. What, after all, are men fighting for? Where do they learn the values that lead them to strive and struggle? Isn’t it from their mothers, their wives, their daughters…? God designed women to be the emotional and relational core of mankind. Women are God’s way of saying that the heart matters, that relationships matter. When a woman lives her role instead of forcing it, then she is truly fulfilling God’s design for her life.

Conclusion

Why does understanding all of this matter? This book helps men to understand the opposite sex a bit better. It is also crucially important because it answers some key questions about God’s design for women and men. Our God-given design was intended to support our fundamental purposes in life.

I have to say though, one of the lessons I didn’t expect to learn was one of responsibility. In a particularly disturbing chapter, the authors expose the fastidious hatred that Satan has for women. The physical, psychological, political and sexual abuse of women throughout history reveals how Satan has focused much of his assault toward them. He must have realized as early as Eden that if he attacks a woman, he will very likely bring a man down in the process. That is where man’s responsibility comes in. As men, one of our longings is for a beauty to rescue. If we don’t embrace our role, then it will not only hurt the women in our lives, but ourselves as well.

I hope that those women who haven’t read the book will be inspired to read it and embrace God’s design for your life. And for the men, I believe you need to read this book because the women in our lives deserve to be understood, appreciated, defended, and yes, sometimes rescued … even if that means from our own ignorance.